It took me 4 years to find a medication combination that worked for my depression/bipolar/adhd/anxiety. After being on the medication (sometimes inconsistently), I can say I am medication free. I know God can heal, but just because he can does not mean that He will. Ultimately, it is for his glory. I always viewed my healing story as one where I would have to take medication for the rest of my life. Every time I tried stopping my medication, I got really sick and my depression got really bad.
When moving to Idaho, I was very inconsistent in taking my meds because I was out of my normal routine. After a lot of prayer, I believed it was time for me to be medication free. I have been off my adhd meds, antidepressants, antianxiety, and mood stabilizers for over a month now. I can honestly say, I am the happiest and most stable I have ever felt when it comes to my mood. There were times where I went through slight withdrawals like headaches and short depressive spouts (which could have been caused by the giant life changes events that recently occurred), but it was nothing I could not handle.
Now, what happened with me is not the case for everybody. Some people should remain on their medication to experience the most life and God has to offer them. I thought I would always be one of those people, even when fellow Christians told me I just needed more faith to get off them. That thinking is so dangerous in the church and needs to become extinct. Being on medication does not mean you do not have enough faith, it means you have biological issues that you can easily alleviate with some extra help of medication and counseling. There is no shame in needing that extra help, even if you are a pastor.
After 3 years of being on medication that worked, I can now say I am no longer in need of those at this point in my life. Now, my wife and I do have an agreement. If I start feeling myself slipping, I will see a doctor to get put back on medication. We have talked about the “what if” scenarios and made a plan. We are being responsible with the situation, but we are also taking time to celebrate this amazing blessing I have been given. I went most of my life without medication and relied on coping skills for my mental health. I’m glad to be back at a place where I can do that.